Tuesday, May 17, 2011

SEX, SEX, AND SEX







SEX. Arnold Schwarzenegger made news when it was revealed that ten years ago, before he became governor of California, he fathered a child with a female staff member, and has been financially supporting the child ever since. It wasn't until a week ago that the governator came clean with his wife of 25 years, Maria Shriver (see image above). She told him to move out. He refused. So she did, taking up residence in a hotel, tactfully characterizing the split as "little more than a couple coming apart after many years." According to sources, Arnold was able to keep things secret for so long because "They always had separate bank accounts. They did not co-mingle their money, and the reason for this was that Maria felt strongly that if she had her own money, she could always walk out the door if something happened. But when you have separate bank accounts it's very easy to keep secrets from each other."

A quirky question -- are Republicans still trying to one-up Democrats? We had the spectacle of Bill Clinton spanking the monkey with Monica Lewinsky in the White House. Did Arnold feel that he had to father a child to go Bill one better? Just a thought.

SEX. In Brazil, a judge has ruled that a 36-year old female accountant can legally masturbate at work and watch porn on her work computer. The woman "suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality .... Her work situation began to suffer because the only way she can relieve her anxiety is by masturbating frequently, up to 47 times a day .... Her doctor has also given her a medical cocktail of tranquilizers that has reduced her need to masturbate to about 18 times a day."

An accountant. Who knew they endure so much stress? Click on the link for the full story, including a video discussion of whether or not masturbation carries negative side effects. I'm heroically resisting the tsunami of puns and wisecracks possible here.

AND SEX. Dominique Strauss-Kahn, an influential economist and possible candidate for the presidency of France has been arrested in New York City and charged with "sexual assault, forcible confinement, and attempted rape of a maid who was cleaning his hotel room." The gentleman nearly made his escape -- he was on board a jetliner ready to depart for an economic summit in Europe, when police boarded the plane and took him into custody (see image below).

As Jon Steward wryly observed (click on the link to see the video), "You know you're in bad shape when your sex scandal comes out the same weekend as Osama bin Laden's, and you're the one that looks like the real a**hole." I mean, rank has its privileges, but come on, D.









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