Monday, October 5, 2009

Singlelicious!

I was doing my Masscom assignment this midnight when suddenly my former student whom I taught in St Mary last year messaged me. Afif (bukan nama sebenar) is now a Form 1 student in my alma mater, SMK Methodist, and he told me that he liked a girl in his current school and I asked him if he already had a girlfriend, he said no, and of course I was expecting this question from him eventually. "Cikgu dah ada gerek belum?" which means "Teacher, do you have a boyfriend now?" As usual, I answered my former student the truth, which is a NO. And what was the reply? "Yalah cikgu malu gilak... hehe.." which means "You're shy, that's why." I was like, what, that's not the reason I am single till now. Yes, I admit I was shy back in high school. Not only shy, coward was more like it. But now, I don't think I am shy, cause I am not. I do mix with the guys, and I treated them like buddies.

The honest reason I don't have a boyfriend till now is that maybe just like Anne of Green Gables, I put high ideals on the guy of my dreams, such as he has to be tall, he has to be handsome, he has to be gentleman, he has to be charming, bla, bla, bla, so maybe that was why I didn't have a boyfriend till now. But do I seem to care? No, but err, yeah, I do admit that I sometimes envy some girls who got a lot of gifts like chocolates and teddy bears from their boyfriend but no, I wouldn't want to have a boyfriend just so I could have all these gifts. That would be such a shallow intention. I don't want to have a boyfriend just because everybody does or because my juniors have boyfriends, or even because my former students have their partners. I want to have a special someone for the sole reason that I am meant to have one. :) If I am not meant to have a boyfriend even until I become an old lady, then it's okay, because it doens't hurt to lose something which you never have at the first place right? It's better for me to never been in a relationship than to let myself got hurt when the relationship ended. To prevent is better than to cure, right? Okay, I know this is subjective, but in my case, this is like this.

Now, I don't even care if suddenly a guy who fits my ideals (handsome + gentleman + generous) appear, cause I am not sure if I would have a chemistry with him. Yeah, what I really want is a chemistry, someone who is compatible with me. I rather have someone who doesn't fit my ideals, but yet have the chemistry, than someone who fits my ideals but zero chemistry together. Cause there will be no sparks, no life in that relationship. If nobody is compatible or have a chemistry with me, then it's okay, I will stay single, rather than to settle for second best or whoever comes my way cause it's unfair. Unfair to the person and to me. So I settle for being friends with all cause I know friendship stays permanent than the romantic relationship.

Therefore, here I would like to tell all the single ladies out there not to be down just because you don't have your own man cause it's not a crime to be single. It's not embarassing at all to tell others that you never have a boyfriend before. Let's enjoy our single moments than wishing to have what we're not sure of because you might regret if you do not treasure your single moment cause it's the only time you get to pamper yourself. Embrace your singelilicious girls!! Cheers!!

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